i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
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He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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