dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
