well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
