my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
