hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
