All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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