my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
