I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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