Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
