Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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