You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
