is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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