Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
