Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize