Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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