So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
