I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize