My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
