I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
