i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
