we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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