so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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