the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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