I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize