I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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