So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I need help removing her.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
