So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I could make wine with my vomit
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
