I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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