who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
