I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
