I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
