bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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