Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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