Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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