found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
