I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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