my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just blew my weed a kiss
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
