Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
