toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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