she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
