Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
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i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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