jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
