Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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