i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
