I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I am available for nakedness
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
