you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
operation have a gay friend backfired
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
