I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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