I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
