you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
