so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
