dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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