Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It was confusing and full of hummus
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
