Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize