I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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