I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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